In our meeting on relationships we
discussed the topic of relationships with family and friends and how to handle specific circumstances.
We discussed certain scenarios and how having a condition affected these
relationships which included relationships with;
If you need any support there are some useful contacts for Life Coach Directory and Relate which can be found at the bottom of the page.
1. Family/Partner and Children
Things to consider when talking to someone –
·
*Think
about who the person is! · When and where would be a good time and place to catch them at their best? · How does this person usually like to communicate? Are they loud and jokey or quiet and serious?
2.Talking with children
Sometimes it’s difficult to get kids to sit down and
be quiet for long enough to listen. Other times, they might get a bit withdrawn
and sullen and it's difficult to find out what’s wrong. Try waiting until just
before bed when they’re calm and if you’ve got something you need to talk
about, introduce it slowly at their own pace. 3.Talking
to Partner Try being specific about what the issue is and how you think it can be resolved. Stay focused on what you want to discuss. Planning what you want to talk about beforehand can help - if you stick to the plan! If you're worried about seeming like you're moaning or nagging, have an idea of what you think a solution might look like. For example if food shopping and housework is a major factor of the problem suggestions like online shopping or getting a cleaner to come and help on a regular basis may help. Where and when would be a good opportunity to catch your partner at their best? Think about what's worked for you in the past and try to recreate that. Plan a time limit - something between 20 - 45 minutes is reasonable - and stick to it! If you don’t resolve the issue, agree to come back to it soon, and make sure you do something fun together when your time slot is up. It can be really tricky when you are struggling to talk though something really important. If you feel that things still aren’t getting through, try taking a step back. Ask your partner what they think and what solutions they might see. Remember that a discussion means
listening to your partner/family member as well as thinking about what you
want to say when your turn comes. Reaching a solution you’re happy with may mean
making a sacrifice on what you might ideally want, so think about what your
sacrifice might be. 4. What about Distant family, friends and work colleagues? It can be difficult to talk openly with family members you may not be on such close terms with, so it might help to consider other ways of communicating rather than wait until you next see them face to face. Think about writing a letter or e-mail, or speaking to them via Facebook (with a private message rather than a post on their wall!) This could help you to plan what you want to say, and be able to reflect on how it sounds by reading it back before you send it. Including some possible solutions will help make things clear and move the conversation forward. Things that could help:- *If you use 'I' statements like 'I think' or 'I feel' rather than talking about what the other person is doing, you're more likely to get your point across without seeming overbearing. *Also, you might like to try phrasing your thoughts as questions, like 'I wonder if...' to show you're open to their thoughts and ideas, and are willing to compromise to find a solution. Stopping arguments or getting someone to listen – Have a go at the Wooden Spoon exercise and see if it helps you both to change your bad habits. You will need a wooden spoon. One of you must hold the spoon while you talk, and the person holding the spoon is allowed to talk uninterrupted for two minutes (time this).When the two minutes is up, the listener then needs to feed back what they have heard to check they understood (this is not the time to give your own view on what the talker has just said!) When the feedback is complete, swap over with the spoon. Taking turns to speak should help you see things more clearly.
Overcoming
Isolation · Go to the local library and see what groups they run or advertise there. · What kind of thing do you enjoy to do, and find a group that meets to do that activity, for example if you enjoy reading look up local reading groups, or if you are an artist join a local art group. · Join a local support group where you can meet others in similar circumstances, such as CFS Unite. · If you are able join an online forum or Facebook group to meet others. ·
Visit your local CAB for ideas and local support networks. Family Events
Useful
contacts Feel free to contact us for further information. |